All relationship start with “roses”. We see just the most beautiful things in our beloved ones. Their beauty, wit, courage, generosity, happy nature, sense of humor… Every relationship hits a threshold when things turn into other direction.
Tony Robbins shares with us two valuable keys to help us maintain that beautiful sense of wonder and passion for our partners.
LET GO OF YOUR RULES
In the beginning of a relationship, we don’t impose rules on our partners. But, over time, we begin to construct beliefs that our partners should act, think and even feel a certain way. We expect things from them that we’d never expect from anyone else. And when they don’t adhere to those expectations, we withhold our unconditional love, or even worse than that, treat them with disdain and disregard.
Consider a man, for example, who has unconditional love for his grandchildren. In his eyes, they can do no wrong. It’s pure love, pure joy, pure bliss. And it fulfills him in a way nothing else does. Now why doesn’t he have that for his partner, who actually needs that from him more than anyone else? Why are there different rules at stake?
If you want to recapture the romance, step back and ask yourself: “What do you worship about your partner? What makes him or her the most important person in your life?” Let go of the rules and start to shift your focus towards loving your partner for who they are – because that’s who you fell in love with. Get out of your mind and into your heart. Stop living from a place of manufactured expectations and start living in the moment, sharing the love that you have inside for your partner.
APPRECIATE THE MASCULINE AND FEMININE
Too often, we try to make our partners exactly like us – and we expect them to communicate, behave and even think in the same way we do. When they deviate from those expectations, we grow frustrated and may even become short with them. But what if we started seeing our differences as gifts?
A masculine man, for example, may grow frustrated by how emotional a feminine women can be. And he will want her to be more logical, like he is. But if she were more logical, polarity would diminish. So by shifting his perspective to one of appreciation, he can see that the feminine dynamic is the perfect complement to his masculine core. And the little things that could potential frustrate and aggravate him will start to excite and enliven him.
Appreciate the intricacies of the masculine and feminine energies. Where the masculine is about direction and mission, the feminine is about emotion and connection. Where the masculine seeks to feel appreciated, the feminine seeks to feel understood. And it is these differences that create passion – that spark that can bring us even closer to each other. By making the choice to shift your perspective towards appreciation, you will not only see your partner in a new light, you’ll learn how you can connect on an even deeper level.
Read more: Tony Robbins